


The Not-So-Cute Meet

by spikewriter



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Romantic Comedy, F/M, Secret Santa, fragment, tasertricks - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 03:41:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9053788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spikewriter/pseuds/spikewriter
Summary: When Darcy Lewis, blogger and life coach, introduced her friend Jane Foster to a guy she'd shared a radio interview with, she didn't know they'd hit it off so well. She also didn't know it would send Thor's younger -- and very attractive -- brother across her path, on a mission to break up what Thor's father has deemed an "inappropriate" relationship. She wouldn't mind getting to know the guy a little better, save for the fact he comes across as a bit of an asshole.Loki Borson isn't particularly pleased about the idea of cleaning up yet another of his brother's messes, especially since it's meant being summoned home by their father. He figures it shouldn't take long, if he can get the information he needs out of the supposed 'relationship guru' who introduced Thor to the girl. He was expecting an opportunistic gold-digger; he got someone smart and sassy, whom he wouldn't mind getting to know better. Problem is, he's pretty certain accomplishing his task means she'll never want to speak to him again.But, then, Christmas has always been a time of miracles.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fragment written for @djsugar/Bianca on Tumblr for the 2016 Tasertricks Secret Santa Exchange. At this point, other chapters aren't planned, but never say never. (Because I think I know where the story would go.) For the meantime, though, we'll mark it as complete.
> 
> UPDATE 1/5/17: For those who have asked, there will be more. I have some original fiction commitments that block my time until mid-February, but new chapters should start appearing in late February/early March.

Darcy Lewis loved winter. The first sign of a nip in the air sent her into a frenzy of preparation, pulling coats sweaters and scarves out of storage, changing her daily soundtrack to reflect the eagerly anticipated shortening days and the lights that began to appear on buildings and shops. Fall was great, but winter — oh, that was her jam.

She’d also learned not everyone shared her enthusiasm, so the grumpy faces in her favorite Starbucks didn’t surprise her. But New Yorkers tended to be able to be grumpy about anything and she wasn’t going to let that bother her. Certainly not when she was settled comfortably in at a table with a Snickerdoodle Hot Chocolate, her tablet and a new blog entry to write. _Realistic Romance During the Holidays_ was the title of the latest entry.

> _…And if you’re hoping for a proposal, ask yourself  if you really want to have that magic moment in front of your (or his) family?_ _Especially_ _if there are babies or small children around? It looks good in movies, but babies doing something cute are always going to trump an engagement, at least in the parents and grandparents’ eyes — and heaven forbid it’s a new baby. You might be accused of trying to steal the new parents’ thunder._
> 
> _Even if there isn’t a baby, and he pops the question at the table during dessert, there’s always the risk of younger ones having eaten themselves sick and choosing that moment to hurl or letting out some less than romantic comment._
> 
> _You’ve heard me say more than once: Proposals are not a piece of performance art. I’ll repeat that for the folks in the back row._
> 
> _PROPOSALS ARE NOT A PIECE OF PERFORMANCE ART._
> 
> _Yeah, I love the big moments in Richard Curtis films, but that’s the movies, not real life. If I had a guy put me on the spot and ask me to marry him in front of his entire family, I’d have seconds thoughts. Especially if I knew I was going to have to help with the dishes immediately after._
> 
> _If you’re reaching that point, drop a few hints. You don’t necessarily need a fancy evening out — who needs that hassle during the holidays? — but it should be something where you get to share that commitment with just each other for those first few…”_

“Ms. Lewis?”

The voice that cut through her concentration was crisped, educated — and filled a big dollop of contempt, as if the speaker was somehow lowering himself by speaking with her. What else could she do but look up?

He was tall, built along slender, muscled lines — and if he wasn’t a model, then he damn well could have walked into office of _GQ_ and had most of the editorial team falling at his feet, weeping hosannas at his arrival. If nothing else, his slightly longish dark hair and glittering green eyes set above sharply defined cheekbones would instantly catch most folks’ attention if they found him staring out of a high-class magazine.

It was the cheekbones that reminded her she really needed to pull that cheap knife sharpener her aunt gave off the shelf and get it out of her apartment as it was neither useful nor did she believe it to be beautiful.

Still, as gorgeous as he was, Darcy wasn’t in the habit of offering up her identity to random men in coffee shops, especially ones that looked as if they might have a bone to pick with her. So she didn’t reply immediately, but decided to continue taking in the view.

She won the staring contest because he shifted slightly and said, “Miss _Darcy_ Lewis? Blogger and so-called relationship expert? The one who hooked my brother up with the gold-digging Miss Foster?”

“Gold-digging —?” That was enough to break the silence. “I’ll have you know that _Doctor_ Jane Foster is an award-winning astro-physicist and research fellow at Columbia University. Oh, and that’s double-Doctor to you, Mr. Smart-Ass Trash My Friend But Not Bother to Give Your Name. Who do you think you—”

Darcy’s voice, which had started to rise, stopped abruptly. “You’re Thor’s little brother,” she said. “The one who manages a hedge fund or something.”

He reached into the breast pocket of the expensive looking suit he wore under his overcoat and extracted a business card and offered it to her. _Loki L. Borson_ , it read, _Corporate Vice President, Special Projects_. The card was of of a lush, slightly texture stock that feature the stylized logo of Borson International, Ltd., and most definitely didn’t come from Vista Print.

“Now that we have established my identity,” he said in a calm and superior voice, “are you willing to confirm that you are Ms. Lewis.”

This guy was going to be trouble. Anyone who had a beef against Jane automatically fell into that category, but his attitude promised an extra special helping. “Yeah, I’m Darcy Lewis.” She tossed the card casually onto the table. “What’s your beef?”

He was taking her measure as much as she was taking his. At this point, she knew the important thing was to not show weakness, because he’d capitalize on it in a minute. Darcy had dealt with guys like this before, back in the days when she’d been a corporate drone. Didn’t like them then, didn’t like them now.

That he gestured toward the empty chair opposite her at the small table, clearly asking permission before sitting was a surprise. She hesitated a fraction, then nodded. He pulled the chair out and sank gracefully into to it, unbuttoning both overcoat and suit jacket in smooth, successive gestures. “My ‘beef’, as you put it, is that you have put my brother in the path of someone who can only be interested in him for his money and I want you to do what you can to stop Miss …” he took a breath, then corrected, “ _Doctor_ Foster from pursuing the relationship.”

“Okay, first, I didn’t put anyone in anyone’s path. Thor saw Jane, Thor liked Jane, I made an introduction and Thor started dating Jane.”

“And how did you come to make such an introduction?”

“Because Thor and I were both guests on a radio show and, if you want to know the truth, he was hitting on me.”

Loki tilted his head slightly to one side. “I can believe that. You’re my brother’s type. Well, one of his types. He hasn’t necessarily been discriminating in the past.”

“Thanks — I guess.”

“I don’t mean that as an insult, Ms. Lewis. Thor’s quite a connoisseur of beautiful women, much to his grief and the inconvenience of others. So, please enlighten me — how did you make an introduction to Dr. Foster when Thor was busy hitting on you?”

It was tempting to tell him the conversation was over, that she didn’t need to explain herself. There was nothing in his words that were directly offensive, but something in his tone and manner was setting her teeth on edge. “After the show was done, I headed over here to meet Jane because we were going to have lunch together — and he followed me, like a stray puppy. Not like I was encouraging him.” 

She paused, remembering how she repeatedly gave ever signal she wasn’t interested. “Actually, it was a bit creepy. Like you coming up to me completely out of the blue.”

Loki had been tapping a long, slender finger on the table surface, and the gesture stopped suddenly. There was a flash of annoyance in those green eyes, but he didn’t let his expression reveal anything. “I can assure you, Ms. Lewis. I did not approach you with the intention of hitting on you. At least, not in this situation. I would like to think that any such attempt I might make would be more polished than my brother.”

His finger began tapping again. “So Thor was being a complete oaf…”

It wasn’t as if Darcy actually wanted to give him the story, but she also wanted to know why he’d approached her and she had a feeling she wouldn’t get that unless she played along for at least a little longer. “Thor was being an oaf and not going away. We get here, I’m getting my coffee — which I didn’t let him pay for, by the way, even though he tried — and Jane showed up. Being Jane, she started talking about science-y stuff from work, didn’t even notice Thor was there.”

“You mean, she _pretended_ she didn’t know Thor was there.”

Darcy snorted. “You clearly haven’t met Jane. If she’s on a science tear, she doesn’t notice anything except the science or the person she’s talking to directly — and that person comes a distant second. She’s babbling on, drinks part of my coffee without thinking, which is my fault because I was just standing there with it and when I was being her life coach, if I wanted her to eat or drink something, I had to stand there with it held out.”

She took a breath, grinned at the fact Loki’s brows were drawn together in confusion, and continued. “So Jane is Jane and winds down at last. That’s when she realizes it’s my coffee she drank and someone else is standing there. She says, ‘Hello,’ which annoyed me because I figured it would only encourage Thor and I didn’t want that. But now I realize I have to make an introduction and I turn around — and he’s just standing there staring. I mean, literally staring, as if someone had conked him over the head or something. I introduce them and would believe he asked her a questions about what she’d been talking about. I don’t think he understood everything, but he obviously understood a lot more than I did. They started talking, he bought her coffee, and they went from there.”

Darcy shrugged. “That’s the story of how Jane and Thor met. So why the hell do you think she’s a gold-digger?”

Loki didn’t respond at first. After a moment, he said, “She’s an astrophysicist? Not a model or showgirl?”

“Jane? A model?” Darcy couldn’t help laughing. “Jane doesn’t give a crap about clothing. Her mom wishes she would, but the girl’s closet is filled with dull work outfits and flannels for when she’s doing some observing at dark sky areas.”

She trailed off as she realized Loki was frowning.  Retrieving his phone from another pocket, he tapped the screen a few times, then offered it to her. “Perhaps we should make certain we’re talking abut the same Jane Foster.”

Keeping her eye on him, Darcy took the phone, only looking down at the screen when she had it in her hand. She wasn’t certain was going on, but he had a beef against Jane for some reason and she wanted to know why.

Her eyes widened as she took in the elegant woman with the upswept hair and long gown. Jane’s arm was tucked into Thor’s and while she looked a little uncomfortable, she also looked more like she belonged in that setting than Darcy would have ever believed. “Where…? How…?”

Loki retrieved his phone and tucked it back in his pocket. “A ‘friend’ sent those to my father, letting him know that his son was dating one Jane Foster and seen fit to take her to the Selvig Institute fundraiser where they were seen together by a number of our family’s social circle. To date, however, he hasn’t mentioned her to my parents. In fact, when my father asked him about her, he did his best to stall and not answer any questions.”

“Well, that’s your problem,” she said, but then grimaced. Jane and Thor made no secret they were seeing one another around her — in fact, it was the only reason she’d seen Thor again — but neither one had said anything about an event like this.

And now here was Loki, looking for information and not knowing a thing about her. “You’re trying to break them up, aren’t you?”

“That’s what my father would like, yes. It’s not the first time he’s had to have Thor extracted from…unfortunate relationships.”

“There’s nothing ‘unfortunate’ about Jane,” Darcy snapped. “Thor’s damn lucky she gave him the time of day. If she was willing to get dressed up like this, you have no idea what a big deal this is. Jane’s not a social gal. She’s…introverted. But the most I’ve seen her smile is when she’s with Thor. At least when she’s not getting excited about a quasar or something.”

She leaned forward. “And you can answer one thing for me — where the hell did Thor learn all this science stuff? I’m not saying he’s dumb, but when I met him, he did not seem like the type of man who’d be interested in that type of thing.”

The way Loki’s face twisted in a frown told her she wasn’t going to get an answer — at east, not the answer she wanted. “Since you seem in such favor of the match, I have to ask — what do you get out of this, Ms. Lewis? I’ve been told you’re a self-styled relationship guru —”

“Life coach.”

He stopped at her interruption. “Pardon me.”

“I’m not a ‘relationship guru’. Or whatever you’re going to call me — and could you be more condescending? I’m a trained life coach. I come in and help people with various aspects of their life either temporarily or on a regular basis. I help organize closets, files, let people talk through problems and provide a different perspective, take them shopping when needed. I’m not, however, a licensed therapist, nor do I play one on tv.”

Darcy smiled sweetly at him. “I’ve tried removing the sticks from people’s asses from time to time, but the folks who need it most usually aren’t willing to admit they even have one.”

His eyes narrowed. “You haven’t answered my question.”

“Like you haven’t answered half of mine, dude. I’m sitting here, writing a blog post and you show up telling me you want to break up my friend and her boyfriend because you think she’s after his money without knowing anything about her. The fact you thought she was a model or showgirl proves that.”

“Given the photo, I think I might be forgiven for thinking she was a model, but clearly there were some…deficiencies in the dossier I was handed.”

“ _Dossier_? Your dad gave you a dossier and told you to go break your brother and his girlfriend up?”

Loki nodded, looking none too happy. “Decided I could come home from London earlier than scheduled to handle this, so you can see this is important to him.”

Darcy just stared. She knew her mouth was hanging open but she didn’t care. Finally, she reached for her now cool hot chocolate and took a drink.   “I’ve never met him, but your dad sounds like a complete dick.”

The cool mask cracked, a wicked smile crossing Loki’s face. “You are quite perceptive, Ms. Lewis. Yes, my father is a complete dick. But he also wants Thor to stop seeing your friend. And he’s made that my responsibility.”

“Is that was the ‘Special Projects’ on your business card stands for, doing Daddy’s dirty work?”

She meant it to be insulting and was rewarded with a slight twitch of those elegant fingers, a breaking of that rhythm against the table. “It is part of the job,” he replied, far more calmly than she expected. “However, just as my dossier is incomplete, your assumptions do not tell the entire story. I’m willing to admit you did not, perhaps, arrange this for profit, that you simply performed an introduction. Because of that, I’m fairly certain you have no interest in helping me put a stop to Thor’s relationship with your friend. But even you must admit to some discomfort in a relationship that sprang up abruptly after he was attempting to hit on you.”

“Turns out he wasn’t hitting on me,” Darcy said quietly. “I misinterpreted what he was doing. He wanted to ask me about questions about Life Coaching because he was interested in whether it might be useful for him. There’s some issues he’s dealing with.”

Silence fell over the table. Loki stopped tapping and leaned back, one hand plucking at the palm of the other, his expression thoughtful. “I’m not going to tell you what they are,” Darcy said. “And I’m not formally coaching him. But I don’t want you to think he jumped from hitting on me to going after Jane.”

Loki nodded, still silent. She wished she knew what was going on in his brain, because it was clear he was working through something. 

Another nod and he pushed away from the table, rising. “Thank you for your assistance, Ms. Lewis. You’ve at least given me some information I didn’t have. But I warn you — my father wants this relationship ended and he is not one who enjoys having his will thwarted.”

“And if he — or you — think I’m going to stand by and watch while you screw with my friend, you’ve got another think coming.”

Once more, he smiled a wicked smile. “I do not doubt that.” His expression sobered. “I admire your loyalty, but I advise caution. He had no hesitation about removing obstacles in his path or who he hurts in the process. That, if nothing else, might cause Thor to walk away.”

 _Because the dick wouldn’t hesitate to hurt Jane if necessary — and Thor wouldn’t want Jane’s career hurt_. It was a warning, not for her to surrender, but to be ready for that possibility. “Message received.”

“I though it might be.” He sighed. “I wish we could have met in more pleasant circumstances, Ms. Lewis. I think I would have enjoyed that.”

“Your dad probably wouldn’t have liked it.”

“No. He knows how the world is run and he doesn’t care if our wishes run opposite. I expect, though, we will see one another again.”

Loki turned away, then turned back. “You asked how Thor knew the science Dr. Foster was talking about. Thor’s quite interested in astronomy, always has been. I think, if he was given a choice, he might have enjoyed pursuing a career in the sciences. However, he was not. Nor was I. Until we meet again.”

With that he walked away, out of the shop. Darcy watched him go, moving swiftly down the sidewalk with the stride of a man on a mission. Suddenly, writing a cute and cheery blog about the holidays didn’t sound so appealing. 

Neither did the phone call she was about to make, but she knew it needed to be done.  “Jane? We need to talk…”

 


End file.
